The Lost Art Of Flirting – 10 Steps To Becoming An Expert Flirt “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” Did Mae West brazenly utter those words? Gasp! There are countless articles on the rules of dating, and she probably broke everyone of them with that flirtatious question. Was she being too bold? Does she appear too aggressive? Doesn’t she know how to play the game? Flirting has somehow become wrong. It has become a lost art.
Why is mastering the skill of flirting a good thing if you’re trying to get a date? The answer: Because men like confident women! They’re tired of always being the aggressors. They like women who are self-assured and know what they want. Flirting isn’t easy, but the rewards are great. The act of flirting can dramatically increase your chances of getting asked out on a date. At the very least, if the guy you’ve flirted with isn’t available, he’ll still find you entertaining and remember you in the future. Flirting is a great opportunity to let your personality shine through. Here are 10 steps to becoming an expert flirt:
#1 Say “Hello,” to a stranger every day. This may seem easy, but it can be quite intimidating. The exercise of smiling, making eye contact, and greeting a total stranger can be completely foreign to someone who hasn’t done this in the past. We were taught not to make contact with strangers since grade school, when we learned about, “Stranger Danger.” The simple act of saying “Hello,” to new people will brighten your day and those you greet.
#2 Compliment a co-worker, friend, or stranger by saying something unexpected and nice. If you aren’t able to leave the home, try saying a positive statement to someone on the phone. Watch and listen to the reaction you receive from that person.
#3 Introduce yourself to an unknown person. This can be anyone unfamiliar to you such as; your server at a restaurant, grocery cashier, or bus driver. Make sure you smile and look the person right in the eye as you say, “Hi, my name is KarenLee. What’s yours?”
#4 Go to a bar, restaurant, gym or any social gathering place and chat with a stranger. Talk to someone sitting at a coffee shop or strike up a conversation with a girl in a hair salon. The more comfortable you are with this step, the easier it is to start up a conversation with a man you are interested in getting to know.
#5 You are now ready to approach someone who you’d like to potentially date. This can take place anywhere such as: a bar, grocery store, dog park, or car wash. Be ready at all times, so you don’t kick yourself later about letting the guy get away. Once you’ve found your target, give him friendly eye contact and a big smile. He’s bound to respond positively.
#6 Make your move! Walk up to that person and say something relevant about him or your surroundings. You can talk about the weather, something on TV, or his hat. Bring up any subject that will get his attention. Make sure to give him great eye contact and full attention. Do not look at anyone else or pick up your cell phone. If he indicates disinterest, by turning away or grunting a one-word answer, move on to the next guy.
#7 Keep the conversation light and flowing. Tell a joke and respond to his attempts at humor. Ask a question, shut up and listen! This may seem obvious, but everyone likes to talk about his/her self or voice an opinion. If you listen intently and respond with a nod or smile, he’ll feel special. If he shows you pictures of his kids or dog, you know you’ve captivated his interest.
#8 Touch his arm, shoulder or hand. If you get really bold, you can brush your leg up against his. This tiny gesture will indicate that you’re interested in him more than a friend. This will help keep you out of, “The Friend Zone.” If he returns the gesture, you’re on the right path.
#9 Keep the conversation short, sexy and sweet. You want him to look forward to your next meeting. Find out if he’s in a relationship. If he’s available, tell him you need to leave, but would love to see him again. If he hasn’t asked for your number, think Mae West and say, “Here’s my cell, call me sometime and we’ll get together.”
#10 Get up and shake his hand, give him a quick hug or if you’re comfortable, give him a light kiss on the cheek. Tell him how happy you are to have met him, and say good-bye.
The art of flirting is not just about batting your eyelashes and tossing your hair. It’s a skill that lets a person know you’re a confident woman with high self-esteem. If you wait for the guy to approach you, it may never happen. Mae West knew the secrets to being an expert flirt and now you do too. Go out and break some of those dating rules. In the words of Dolly Parton, (another woman who perfected the art of flirting), “I love to flirt, and I never met a man I didn’t like.”