Ladies – take charge of your orgasm. Stop blaming your partner for not making it happen during sex. Imagine you have a high performance vehicle that you place in the hands of a novice driver (your lover) each time you have sex. He wants you to reach the big O, but needs some help operating your vehicle. You are responsible for guiding your man to becoming an expert performance driver. Follow these 5 steps toward the climatic finish line: 1) Become the expert mechanic of your vehicle. Do some self-discovery – masturbate. If you don’t know what stimulates you, how can you expect your partner to figure it out? Lubricate your whole vaginal area, wetter is better! Using your fingers, try different tempos and pressure levels for reaching an orgasm. Play with your nipples and see how that adds to your experience. Read a book with sexual content and fantasize about anything that gets you revved up. Try a vibrator on your clitoris and/or inside your vagina. There is no bad way to reach an orgasm!
2) Your car needs to be warmed up with foreplay! Men are wired differently than women. They can turn their ignition switches on and within a few minutes be raring to go. As a woman, you’ll need to be mentally and physically in the mood before your engine starts humming. It is your responsibility, to gradually slip out of work or mommy mode and into the sex goddess groove. Start planning your evening by wearing sexy undergarments all day. Shift your mind into sex gear while cooking dinner by fantasizing about what he will be doing to you later. Start a dialogue with flirty comments hours before the actual act. Text him a sexy picture or call him from another room, and both your motors will begin to purr.
3) The clitoris is the engine! Your man is not a mind reader so explain how to best operate your vehicle. Tell your partner that he needs to focus on your clitoris. There are men out there who don’t know its importance. Could a man ejaculate without his penis being touched? The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, which is 4 times the amount in the head of a penis. If your man jumps into the driver’s seat, puts the key into the ignition, and doesn’t put the car into gear, that car isn’t going anywhere. If you don’t emphasize the importance of this essential car part, you only have yourself to blame.
4) Give him the complete owner’s manual to your unique car. This can be addressed before, during and/or after sex. You’re the mechanic (see #1) so share the tricks of the trade with the driver. If you want a back massage, suggest it. If you’d like him to lick your clitoris, tell him. If he’s applying too much pressure or going too fast, let him know. If sex toys or blindfolds increase your excitement, pull them out. Don’t be embarrassed to share fantasies or role-play. He won’t know what turns you on unless you instruct him. Reinforce his actions by moaning, and showing him the road signs when he’s on the right path. If he doesn’t stop and ask for directions, give him your personal GPS. If you fake an orgasm, he’ll continue driving poorly in the future.
5) Enjoy the ride, but don’t lay back and slip into cruise control. Be an active participant. The average female takes 20 to 40 minutes to achieve an orgasm. If it takes too much time under the hood, your man may need jaw surgery. Your mind may drift outside the bedroom, and you’ll need to guide it back to a sexual place. Rid yourself of inhibitions, touch yourself, and use toys while he’s working his magic. When you’re giving him oral sex, there’s nothing wrong with guiding his fingers to your clitoris, breasts or anus. Don’t be a back seat driver, jump in the front.
Achieving an orgasm with your partner is not a one-person responsibility. He wants to get optimal performance from your vehicle, but needs a little driver’s education. You own a special edition Porche, and if you can’t drive it, how can your man? Whether he’s known you for years, or he’s an eager new driver, nothing will please him more than seeing your car roll to a roaring stop after an exhilarating road trip.