The world is shocked: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting a divorce. People on social media are wildly hypothesizing as to what happened. I don’t know them personally so far be it for me to speculate, but I will discuss a statement of Jennifer's regarding her marriage I found to be intriguing in People Magazine. This is what it said: “In a 2014 interview with InStyle, Garner spoke of the couple's ‘mindful’ marriage, noting that their relationship was no longer in the ‘courtship’ phase – but that she was fine with it.”
Jennifer – please don’t ever be “fine” not having a strong feeling of intimacy, fun and excitement around your partner. Why wouldn't you always want to feel love and passion for each other rather than complacency? You may not have a heart thumping swoony feeling when he walks in the room like the initial stage of a relationship, but you want something more than “mindful.” Mindful sounds boring and tedious like a chore!
A relationship has to be prioritized. I remember having young kids and putting all my energy into them at the expense of my husband. Later when my husband passed away, I regretted that loss of time with him more than anything. Every marriage needs attention. It must be stirred and tended to like a fine stew. If it becomes “mindful” does that mean it becomes a task being together?
What does a “mindful marriage” mean? I think of mindful when it comes to eating. You don’t want to watch TV and eat your lunch. You want to be present and enjoy each bite of your sandwich. I also think of mindful when it means focusing on your breathing during Yoga class. What does it mean when a marriage is mindful as opposed to fun or entertaining? Where's the passion and joy spending time together? It sounds like mindful is the best thing she could come up with to describe a lack luster marriage. Next time around, I hope if Jennifer's relationship moves past the courtship phase, she’ll only be "fine" if it stays permanently in the honeymoon phase.