A New Cougar Has Emerged


A New COUGAR Has Emerged“A lot of people perceive women as sexy based on their outer appeal. But there’s no way to mistake if a woman is confident.” ~ Trey Songz.

There’s always a window of opportunity, it’s just whether you’re ready to open it.  I had been single for about a year and a half after my husband’s sudden death. The first six months were devastating and filled with grief.  Once the cloud of sadness began to lift, I embarked on my journey of finding my new self! I was still a mother, sister, daughter and friend, but I was no longer a wife. I found this to be scary yet liberating. I realized that dwelling on the past was a waste of time. Time took on a new meaning and importance.

Who was I? I had a need to discover my passions and improve the person who I had ignored for the past few decades by focusing on my family. I loved being a wife and full-time mother of three, but it was now MY time. I realized that going out to dinner with my married friends was comforting, but I needed more excitement. I discovered that trying to date the single men who I had known for years was not going to work. I was going to have to step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown singles world.

I took an inventory of my mental and physical assets and deficits. I found that exercise helped me in both areas.  Reading self-help books and seeing a therapist were both beneficial, but talking to other widows and divorcees was what I craved. They gave me tips from their years of dating as an older chick. I loved the attention I received when I went to singles bars. I felt like a teenager, with an added bonus, which was the experience I obtained from having been in a successful marriage. I loved myself and had been loved

I ventured out with single women and enjoyed the freedom that comes with being unattached. I felt comfortable talking to guys as they approached me in restaurants or bars. I wasn’t looking for my next husband. I was just out to have FUN and find a companion or two along the way.  My secret to my becoming this free spirited woman can be summed up in one word: C.O.U.G.A.R.

No, I wasn’t looking to de-flower young innocent men as the stigma implied. I was evolving into a confident, older, unique, genuine, assertive, and racy woman. I felt confident in the knowledge that I was a good, intelligent, fun person with many attributes. I was older and wise with experience in multiple areas such as; marriage, family, travel, work, and sex. I focused on my unique positive qualities and pushed aside my insecurities. I refused to miss an opportunity to meet a new man by waiting for him to approach me. I was assertive and initiated conversations in coffee shops, gyms, and grocery stores without hesitation. Men seemed to be attracted to me because of the energy that I exuded. Did I dress sexy and youthful? Hell Yes! Was I comfortable talking to men about any racy subject? Of course I was. I decided that the race, religion or age of the men I met was not going to be a factor in my quest for companionship. I didn’t look for a man who fit societal norms. I was completely reliant on my intuition. This was very empowering. Were younger and older men attracted to the woman I had become? What do you think? A new Cougar had emerged.

Check out my videos about older women dating on my YouTube Channel: The KarenLee Poter Show. Read further about my definition of COUGAR on my website.