The Dawning Of The Selfish Orgasm

My friend, Ronna asked, “Karen, how do I know if I had an orgasm?” Scratching my head, I asked, “Have you ever masturbated?”

Her response, “No, but I have great sex with my husband.”

I firmly stated, “Ronna, you need to have a selfish orgasm.”

Ronna’s expression was like a deer caught in a truck’s headlights.

I thought: Is it possible that a 32-year-old woman had never masturbated and achieved an orgasm? Are there others out there with the same lack of orgasmic experience? This is a tragedy! Men talk about masturbating all the time. You hear male comedians constantly referring to “rubbing one out” or “whacking off” without a moment’s hesitation. Women tend to keep their masturbation hidden. I love nothing more than bringing up the subject with my friends. There are some who talk openly about their favorite vibrators, but there are others who are mortified to broach the subject. I want to scream, “Women, come out of the closet!” No pun intended on the use of the word, “come.” I feel that orgasms deserve the same equality as equal pay. It’s the dawning of the selfish orgasm for women.

What does it mean to have a selfish orgasm? It’s about having a delicious mindful orgasm without thinking about anyone else. Having an orgasm without worrying what your partner is thinking or feeling is liberating. If you’re in charge of your orgasm, you can regulate the timing and intensity. You can use toys, read sexy books, or watch porn while enjoying a stress free purely self-absorbed experience. Fantasizing plays a huge part in the build up to an orgasm. It’s a lot easier to focus on this alone, rather than simultaneously trying to balance the needs of your partner. Checking out your vagina in a mirror while playing with yourself can be a huge turn-on as well as a learning experience. How will you know what really gets your motor going if you haven’t tried out your vehicle first? You have the owner’s manual and learning what makes you purr is an individual process. Additionally, if you want to enjoy the same orgasmic bliss with a partner, you’ll have to school him as to what works for you. Once you figure out those details, you can articulate them to him (or her.) If you currently don’t have a partner, it’s all the more reason to keep your body sexually tuned up.

Having a selfish orgasm is giving yourself the pleasure that you deserve. It’s time to enjoy the benefits of being a woman, so explore, enjoy, and explode. Watch my video, "Why Women Should Masturbate."

10 Differences Dating A Widow Vs A Divorcee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xKxFP1EMKE Six months after my husband died, I decided to venture out into the single’s world. I sauntered into a swanky downtown Chicago restaurant with a divorced female friend. She left me perched on a bar stool to go to the restroom. I stared at the glassware on the shelves behind the bar and a guy suddenly appeared, “So when did you get divorced?

I replied, “I didn’t get divorced.”

He said, “Well where’s your husband?”

Never one to pass up a good line, I said, “Six feet under.”

That resulted in a jaw dropping, confused, uncomfortable, pitiful facial expression, as he stammered, “I’m so sorry.”

I blurted out, “But I didn’t kill him!”

This opened the door to a litany of questions: “Do you mind if I ask what happened? Do you have kids? Was that very difficult for you?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I mumbled.

The next question was a shocker, “Do you mind if I ask you how long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

My response without missing a beat, “Twenty-four hours.”

That interchange was my initiation into the “Planet Single Bar Hopping Phase.” I later entered the “Planet Single Dating Phase.”  Here are 10 tips to understanding the differences in dating widows vs divorcees: 1) Divorcees didn’t have a happy marriage otherwise they’d still be married. Widows had a happy marriage – or at least they only remember the happier times. 2) Divorcees have spouses who are regularly involved in their children’s lives. The spouse helps with decisions about the kids; attends their sporting events, theater performances, and weddings. Widows don’t have co-parents to rely on, but also don’t have listen to their opinions on child rearing. 3) Divorcees get a break from parenting if they have shared custody. Widows have a full time parenting gig. 4) Divorcees may get some ongoing financial support for the children and/or alimony payments. 
Widows may have inherited life insurance, but it’s typically a one-time payment. 5) Divorcees may have hostility towards the ex and perhaps the entire female/male population. Widows generally have a favorable opinion about the opposite sex. 6) Divorcees may feel relieved to be single again and eager to jump back into dating and sex. Widows may feel abandoned by the death of their spouse, and reluctant to try new relationships. They may feel guilty about being disloyal to the deceased if they date a new person. 7) Divorcees have to deal with an ex who may be a pain in the butt. Widows don’t come with the ex factor baggage. 8) Divorcees may compare the new person with the ex. The new partner may feel the need to prove that he/she is different than the ex. Widows will talk about their deceased spouse, and this can be annoying. 9) Divorcees likely didn’t have the best sex life towards the end of the marriage. They may be excited to be with someone who enjoys sex and wants to be intimate again. Widows in happy marriages may have had a decent sex life and want to have it again. 10) Divorcees frequently have had family & friends who sided with one spouse over the other. Widows’ family & friends may be happy to include the new person into their lives or it may be hard for that guy/girl to walk in the shadow of the deceased.

Can widows be happy dating divorcees and vice versa? Absolutely, knowing the history of your partner’s past is key to a successful future relationship.