Choose Your Face Over Your Ass


Are you over 40 and still trying to be ultra thin? Here are 10 reasons why you should think twice. I've always agreed with my sorority sister’s favorite saying, "You can never be too skinny or too rich." I rationalized that being uber rich might have its problems, but I would deal with them while traveling throughout the world on my yacht. However, as I passed my 40th birthday marker, I began to question, "Can you be too skinny?" I looked in the mirror and concluded that her theory on never being too skinny had some serious drawbacks. Sure, when you're super skinny, you'll be able to fit into your bikini from 1975, and slide into your size two jeans with ease, but these advantages come at the expense of something far more valuable — YOUR FACE!

After a certain age, you will need to make THE CHOICE. What's more important…your face or your ass? After extensive personal research, I've determined that my face is by far the winner. Click here for a video demonstration, and read on to discover ten reasons why you should choose your face vs your bum.

1) You can see it in your face. Has this chain of events ever happened to you? You step on the bathroom scale, see a weight loss of a few pounds, leap in the air with excitement, go to the grocery store, bump into a friend and she exclaims, “Wow you lost weight, I see it in your face?" Your face is always the first place that looks thinner, not your thighs, waist or butt. Your mug looks longer, creases form on your cheeks, and the skin under your chin starts to sag. You appear older — not the look you were going for.

2) Big butts do not lie. We are now in the age of the Beyonce & Kardasian butts. These two women have revolutionized the whole "Does my butt look fat question." People are even getting butt implants! This is life altering for those of us who've always tried to minimize their derriere. Thank you, Beyonce for making it a plus to have a plus sized prime beef rump roast.

3) Say no to bony butts. Along with the aesthetic value of a bigger butt, it helps to have a little extra padding there if you happen to fall down. As we get older, a boney bum can turn into a broken tailbone if you happen to slip on some ice. A little cushioning provided by a few pounds can help soften the blow and save you a lot of physical therapy.

4) Fillers are painful. Botox and other fillers for your face are costly and painful. Having a little fullness in the face gives a smoother look with fewer wrinkles. You can avoid the frequent trips to the dermatologist by eating that extra piece of pizza and letting your face enjoy the benefits.

5) Say no to plastic surgery. To take it one step further, you'll be able to postpone a facelift or other surgical procedures that tighten your skin. You also won’t walk around looking as if you are perpetually surprised or resemble Kim Novak on the Academy Awards 2014.

6) Your face is the most important part of your body. Your face is what people look at 90% of the time. Who walks around backwards? As long as your job isn't a docent at the museum and you're not inclined to do the moonwalk, your face is what's seen the majority of the time. You'll want it to look as smooth and wrinkle free as possible.

7) Eating is a pleasurable experience. You will be able to enjoy a good meal with friends rather than splitting a side salad and drooling over everyone else's entree. What could be more frustrating than eating a few pieces of lettuce and a green bean while everyone is gobbling up their scrambled eggs and bacon? Your face will have a big smile on it when it’s well nourished.

8) It takes too much time and energy to be on a diet. You won't have to plan your meals in advance and be in a constant state of hunger. Your face will not have a constant frown with worry lines from the stress of not eating enough green leafy vegetables and indulging in too many carbs. You can sleep comfortably and won't have nightmares about eating a piece of cheesecake.

9) Choosing your face will definitely help your mood. You won't be irritable and stressed about gaining a pound or two. People won't be bored listening to what your latest fad diet is and how much weight you've lost. You'll be a happier person — and so will they!

10) Having a flat ass doesn’t help your sex life. Your partner might hurt his hand giving a little love tap to your boney bum. Some men say, "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin." Yes, men seem to like a fuller bottom.

So, what's it going to be? Do you want to live your life, trying to look like a runway model with an eating disorder, or would you rather pinch a little more than an inch and enjoy your youthful plump face. The choice is yours! Don't forget what Sir Mix-a-Lot says, "I like big butts and I cannot lie."

10 Things Cougars Hate About St. Patrick's day Older women love to party but not on St. Patrick's Day. Not to be a killjoy, but I don't like St. Patrick's Day. I have nothing against Ireland or it's people, it's just that I'm 55 years old, and it's not my cup of tea. I love rainbows, elves, and especially pots of gold, but that's about it. Don't get me wrong, I like to party with the best of them, but not on St. Patrick's Day and here are 10 reasons why:

1.I don't like green beer! I don't like beer in general, and the green coloring makes it even more undesirable. I actually think green coloring makes the food or beverage look like it has some mold or algae growing on it. It reminds me of the "Slime" in "Ghostbusters." Basically green is not appetizing.

2.I don't like (nor am I capable of) dancing an Irish jig. I've seen "Riverdance" and "Lord of the Dance" and I appreciate the precision it takes to get those moves down. I love to dance, and this is not my style. Granted I can't twerk like Miley Cyrus, but I can move to the beat of most genres of music.

3.I don't like wearing green face paint. If I'm going out, it takes me at least 20 minutes to apply my makeup. Why would I want to cover my face in green goo unless it's an avocado/ cucumber facial mask to deep cleanse my pores? Additionally, walking around with a green face is not attractive unless you're starring in "Wicked."

4.Green Men. I don't like drunk, obnoxious guys who are dressed in green, wearing goofy top hats, shouting, "Hey MILF or Cougar." This doesn't turn me on, in fact it's a major turn-off.

5.I don't like Irish Pubs. They're usually loud and have a terrible wine selection. Yes they're way too rowdy for an older gal like me, but on St. Patrick's Day, they're also over-crowded and the likelihood of beer spilling on me is very high. Take me to a piano bar, it's much more my style.

6.I don't like looking like a leprechaun. I love dressing sexy and the idea of wearing a green hat and green suspenders doesn't fit the bill. Also, I love animal print and very few leopards are green.

7.It's not a sexy day. I don't like this day because it's basically not a sexy holiday. Not every holiday is New Year's Eve (there's a lot of kissing at New Year's) or Valentine's Day, but this one is more about getting drunk than romance.

8.I don't like corned beef and sauerkraut. It's not healthy and I don't eat red meat. The only green foods I eat are the leafy vegetables like Kale or some nice green broccoli. Thinking about the corned beef gives me indigestion.

9.I don't like bagpipe music. The bagpipes are basically annoying and sound like a group of horny howling alley cats. It's sensory overload. I do like certain Irish musicians like U2, but bagpipes make me want to scream.

10.I don't like guys in skirts. I like to see men look like men, enough said.

So, there are my 10 reasons for avoiding the St. Patty's day festivities. If you'd like to see a visual demonstration, watch this highly entertaining video.


Check out my videos on dating, sex, and relationships the second time around. My website, LoveEncore, is brimming with great information on older single women and how to have an exciting life.

One day baby we'll be old. Will I have regrets?


Today during spin class, I had a moment of clarity. I was sweating, my heart was pounding, the wheels on my bike were revolving, the endorphins were pumping, and I heard the words to Asaf Avidan's - One Day/Reckoning Song."No more tears, my heart is dry I don't laugh and I don't cry I don't think about you all the time But when I do – I wonder why" It's clear that this is about a breakup. What's interesting is that the remainder of the song are these simple lyrics: "One day baby, we'll be old Oh baby, we'll be old And think of all the stories that we could have told"

Those lines are repeated at least a dozen times over and over again. The way he sings the final chorus is so intense that you can almost feel the pain from his loss. Asaf is stuck wondering why they broke up, and fantasizing about what experiences they could have had together.

I understand loss. My husband passed away, and I've mourned his loss everyday for the past 7 years. I no longer feel the pain that is expressed in this song. I had stories with my husband that I'll never forget. I also have new stories that happen everyday. I make them happen! I don't have regrets, because I don't miss opportunities. When I became single, I experimented with dating, sex, companionship and being alone. I had some relationships that worked and some that didn't. I chose not to continue in the ones that didn't make me happy, even if they could have produced great stories. If you don't laugh, you're missing out. Everyone should be with someone who makes them happy. If you're in a relationship that works, you'll make those great memories. I have a new man who makes me laugh and we create new stories daily. What regrets will I have when I'm old? Probably not too many.

How Tragedy Begot My Transformation


From Mixed Company to Murder: How Tragedy Begot My Transformation I had been happily married to my college sweetheart, Gary, for nearly twenty-four years. We had a daughter and two sons who were 19, 17 and 11 years old. I never dreamed that a joyous musical rendez-vous would precede a tragic event that would turn our wonderful world upside down… My daughter, Jessica, had just finished her sophomore year at Yale University and had arranged for her a cappella group, Mixed Company, to perform in the Midwest area. The group of 18 boys and girls would be staying at our house for the mid-May weekend and then drive up to Minnesota to finish the tour. On the Friday evening of their tour, we invited our friends and family to see them perform a show at one of our favorite restaurants, Café Lucci. Nearly everyone we knew crammed into that room. It was a magical night! I remember glancing at Gary, who was grinning with pride as my daughter sang a solo. The rest of the weekend was filled with site-seeing and culminated with a private performance in our kitchen—a four-part harmony “Happy Mother’s Day” song.

Gary joked on Monday night about how he was contemplating missing work the next day so he could drive to Minnesota with the group. Unfortunately, he did the responsible thing and went to work. Tuesday morning, May 16, 2006, I received a frantic phone call from someone in Gary’s office. Gary had been stabbed! I didn’t know how badly he had been hurt, but I yelled for my daughter to come with me to the hospital. The boys were at school.

Gary was the president of a construction company. The previous day, he had given an employee, Tom, a pay cut during a routine job performance review. Apparently, Tom wasn’t happy about losing part of his income, and so he strolled into the office kitchen the next morning, slid a cake knife up his sleeve, casually said good morning to his colleagues, slinked into Gary’s office, closed the door, plunged a knife into my husband’s heart, and repeatedly stabbed him. He didn't stop until some co-workers stormed the office and pulled him off.

Jessica and I arrived at the hospital, and after a terrifying seclusion in a waiting room, we learned from a chaplain that Gary had died. Time froze as I looked at my daughter’s face and the news sank in. My sister picked up my sons at school and told them about what had happened as she drove to the hospital. That night, I made the determination that I wasn’t going to be pitied and labeled as, “the woman whose husband was murdered." I vowed that my kids would be strong, and our family would remain a family.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about Gary. But I’m a much different person than I was back in 2006 when Mixed Company came to town. Gary's death was the launch pad for my transformation into a new life that I could hardly have imagined on the day that he was murdered. I have learned a great deal about my capabilities as a person and navigator in the years since. Life’s changes and the ways in which we handle them are what define us. I want to share these experiences with LoveEncore fans and hear the adventures of others who have likewise been transformed by their lives' events...

Wine Insecurity Syndrome - The Remedy Have you wondered what a wine tasting is all about? Do you question what goes on during those events where people huddle around a sommelier and question him on terms like aeration? Heard comments like "This wine is fruit forward?" Have you smelled it, tasted it, and had no clue what to say other than,"This smells like a pair of damp running socks?"If you've been diagnosed with "Wine Insecurity Syndrome," your treatment awaits. Watch this entertaining and enlightening five minute video, "Naughty Women And Wine By KarenLee Poter."Your wine insecurities will diminish to a point where you'll never fear a wine list again. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to KarenLeePoter on YouTube.

How To Have A HOT & SEXY Valentine's Night Would you like to know the secrets to having a HOT & SEXY Valentine's night? Valentine's day is one of the only days that encourages romance and sexuality. Sure there's your anniversary, birthday, or "Sweetest Day," but the one with the hearts and flowers is Valentine's Day. Speaking from both sides of the marital fence, it's exciting to have someone to hold on Valentine's Day. So if you have someone, make it a memorable Valentine's night this year. I was married for 24 years and every year my husband would bring home a new vibrator or piece of lingerie. Unfortunately he passed away, but those hot memories are still burning in my mind. I currently live with a man, and I want to keep the romance and sexy tradition going with him. I know the importance of keeping the spark alive. If you don't fan the fire, it's likely to burn out. That is a KarenLee original quote - feel free to tweet it.

Here are some awesome ideas for spicing it up this Valentine's night. Preparation is key for a sensual evening of fun. If you're not in a relationship, you can utilize some of the tips as a single guy or girl - you just need to be open to the idea that you don't need a partner to pleasure yourself. So here are my secrets to making this night rock:

- Clean sheets and a freshly made bed. It seems simple, but lots of people forget this basic concept. Nothing screams anti-romance like stained sheets and dirty covers!

- Freshly showered and groomed bodies. This includes bathing, finger and toe nails clipped, teeth brushed, and private parts trimmed up so the person you're with is turned on not off getting naked with you.

- Sexy music playlist with a stereo system or boombox It doesn't matter if your romantic musical taste is Marvin Gaye or JayZ, get it ready ahead of time so you don't kill the mood figuring out how to get the bluetooth going. You don't want to keep getting up in the middle of sex to change the song so make your playlist ahead of time.

- Scented candles Great sex utilizes all senses. If you get a few candles burning, several senses will be activated. A candle lit bedroom is great for making all those blemishes and pounds fade away.

- Lingerie and boxers without holes Wearing sexy teddies, thigh highs and crotchless panties are an instant turn on to both you and your partner. Men need to realize that boxers that are ripped and falling apart are NOT a turn on. Warning: If you are attempting to put on thigh high stockings, test them out before the evening since it requires a PHD sometimes to figure out how they're clipped onto the lingerie.

-Massage oil and personal lubricant A massage is great foreplay and warms up the body. Adding massage oil and lube to the mix will get the juices flowing. Try Sex Butter if you're looking for a long lasting smooth feel that happens to be organic. There are lubes such as Trojan's "Arouses and Intensifies" which will stimulate the areas that need stimulating.

-Sexy books like "The Lover's Guide To Kama Sutra" Finding a new sex position or reading about a different technique can get your engines running.

-Vibrators, whips, handcuffs or other adult toys My personal favorite vibrator is the Nea">"Nea" by Lelo because it can be used on the clitoris during sex, but there are others toys that are fun and sexy. If you want to go a little "50 Shades Of Grey," try introducing a rubber whip by Lelo. It's all in good fun and will give you something different to remember about the night. Variety is the spice of life!

-Refreshments Chocolates, strawberries, a bottle of water, and champagne will enhance your experience. Sex can work up an appetite and getting thirsty goes with the territory. Altoids will freshen your breath and can be used during oral sex too.

So those are my secrets to creating a hot and sexy Valentine's night. Watch my video to see the products and items that I mentioned. Send me your suggestions and I may mention them in future episodes of my YouTube channel: KarenLeePoter - LoveEncore

Sampling KarenLee's Vlogs This playlist has a little bit of everything I do. It has amazing interviews on racy subjects, funny rants, & hilarious realistic depictions of life as a Cougar.

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Penis & Vagina Enhancements by KarenLee Poter (LoveEncore) Private Parts Discussed openly by KarenLee, Otto Placik, MD, and Todd of Men's Clinic of America in Chicago.

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Older Women Dating Younger Men - Relationships With Cougars 10 myths that "Cougar Coach," KarenLee shares about older women dating younger men. What's the attraction? Who preys on whom? Can these relationships stand the test of time?

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A Glimpse Of My Life As A Confident, Older, Unique, Girl, Assertive & Real These are the funniest and most creative videos about all aspects of my life. My view of "Cougars" is not a predator of younger men. It's someone who lives every moment as a Confident, Older, Unique, Girl, who's Assertive and Real. No Gold Digger looking for a man to take care of her here. Enjoy and share these vlogs about concerts, working out, getting dresssed, drinking, and life lessons. Yes I'm a woman who dates a younger man, but that's only a tiny part of who I am. Please let me know what you think and share with your friends.

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How Important Is The First Kiss? Hint: Very


My mother always told me, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." I thought she meant that it's a numbers game when it comes to finding the right man, but I now realize she meant the kiss part literally. You need to KISS a lot of men to find out if they are compatible smoochers before deciding on who should share your throne. A recent Huffington Post article stated, "Past studies have also affirmed the idea that smooching is a way to vet future mates." A CNN Health report indicated that kissing is an important determiner in the process of mate choice. That first kiss has always been the major factor in whether I went out with a guy again. Sometimes I'd expect an average kiss and be pleasantly surprised by his smooth delicious lip locking. Unfortunately, there were other times when I expected an amazing make out session that ended with me completely grossed out by his lack of passion or the clueless nature of how he kissed. Taking it one step further, you can determine how selfish/generous, passionate/dull, hostile/sweet, or humorous/boring a man is simply by the way he kisses. Does he tease you with his tongue or leave his lips locked on yours with the excitement of a soap dish?

My first experience with kissing was very anxiety provoking. I was eleven years old at a coed over night camp. One morning, I overheard some kids saying that we'd be playing Spin The Bottle that evening. I was excited at the prospect of my first kiss, until I realized that I had no idea how to kiss. I went into panic mode and decided I would need to practice on something. The only thing I found was a can of bug repellent. I frantically rolled my lips onto the can. Later that evening, we played the game and although the bottle landed on a guy with braces, I managed to have a fun time.

I have experienced my fair share of make-out sessions — the good, the bad and the slobbery. I remember kissing my boyfriend, turned husband, on the floor in front of a burning fireplace. He stopped at one point to say, "I can kiss you for two weeks straight," and then we continued for at least another two hours. I have had instances where I couldn't stop kissing a guy even in public places like restaurants or taxis. Conversely, I've had horrible uncomfortable kissing sessions where I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a kiss or swabbing my throat for a strep culture. Furthermore, I'm a firm believer that if the guy can't kiss, he probably can't do a lot of other important things in the bedroom.

If kissing is so important, why don't we get lessons on the art of kissing? Etched in my mind is an extremely sexy scene from television's Boston Legal, in which Julie Bowen teaches Mark Valley how to kiss. He wonders why he's able to get first dates, but never the second. She says, "There’s a certain amount of gentility in kissing." He later says he doesn’t like when a woman's tongue goes into his mouth. She responds, "This is why you're the worst kisser in the history of the planet."

Here are three scenarios of the importance of being an magnificent kisser: Someone fixes you up with a great guy. You meet at a local restaurant on the first date. It's an enjoyable evening and the guy is kind of cute. You don't notice any red flags. You leave the restaurant and he walks you to your car. He leans in for a kiss.

He sensually presses his lips against yours and gently touches your tongue with his. He smells great and his breath tastes sweet. Your tongues do a little tango, and you feel a little jolt all the way down your body.

He holds your head between his hands and gives you a very passionate, sensual tasty kiss sliding his tongue into your mouth. You like his assertiveness, and you feel your heart race as you kiss him back with gusto.

He plunges his tongue into your mouth, swishes it around, drool drips from the sides of his mouth. His saliva gets all over your lips, as his teeth knock awkwardly against yours. You feel like a St. Bernard has just slobbered all over you.

What can you do to improve your kissing ability? Here’s the most important tip to giving her the kiss that will make her melt. It’s a dance. Follow her lead, start slow and tune into the pace of your partner. Taste her tongue and lips as if you were savoring a piece of your favorite pie. Mimic her movements and mirror the way she touches your teeth and gums. Be playful, sensual, and romantic. If you put your tongue in her mouth, and she follows your lead, you’re on the path to inheriting the throne. Is the first kiss really that important? You bet your regal lips it is!

10 Traps Newly Single Women Entering The Dating Jungle Should Avoid

You're officially single again. You're going to bars and men are starting to notice you. It's flattering, exciting and scary at the same time. A hot guy approaches and offers to buy you a drink. Your heart starts racing as you notice his sparkling eyes and wolf-like smile. The conversation flows. Could this be the next Mr. Right? It’s possible, but be on high alert. Don’t be snared by the seasoned hunter who’s ready to pounce on some fresh new meat. Here are 10 traps (based on true stories) that should set off the newly single woman’s fight or flight response:
1) That's not my wedding ring!
He's wearing a gold band on his fourth finger. You ask him point blank if he's married and he states emphatically, “No!” Upon further inquiry you ask why he’s wearing the ring? He reaches for his phone and shows you pictures of his “deceased” parents. He whispers, "This is all I have to remember my parents who were happily married for 50 years.” You immediately feel guilty for mentioning the ring, and are relieved when he changes the subject. It slips out later in conversation that he actually is married, and was hoping you’d “be cool” about it after getting to know him better. Trap: If the tiger’s got stripes, he’s a tiger!
2) His credit cards have just expired.
You’re having a great conversation a cute guy at a restaurant bar. He offers to buy you a drink and you accept. The bartender asks if you’d like to start a tab. The generous man nods and proceeds to order some appetizers. You’re having a great time talking to this entertaining guy until the bill arrives. He reaches for his wallet and mutters, “I’m so sorry, I just realized that my credit card expired and I’m low on cash. Do you think you can cover this? I’ll get it next time!”  Trap: If the fox tricks you once, don’t let him do it again.
3) His ex-wife is a psycho
You’re standing in a crowded bar, and a man initiates a conversation by asking how long you’ve been single. You proceed to tell him that it’s only been a few months. He snorts, “I’ve been divorced 10 years, and it was all her fault she’s a “psycho bitch.” The name-calling continues until you finally find a way to exit. Trap: A venomous snake isn’t someone you want to tangle with.
4) He’s had a few DUI’s so you’ll need to drive
You’re having a great time partying with a man you met at the bar.  When you’re getting ready to leave, he asks if you’d like to go out with him the following evening. You agree and give him your phone number. He then drops the bomb, “Will you be able to pick me up?” You ask why and he explains, “I don’t have a license right now, ‘cause I had a few too many DUI’s.” Trap: You don’t want a drunk monkey on your back.
5) He hasn’t spoken to his mother in years
After ten minutes of talking about various subjects, you ask if he has a large family. He says he’s an only child and that his father passed away. You remark, “You must be very close with your mother.” He snaps, “I haven’t talked to her in 7 years, she’s a witch.” Trap: If a cub doesn’t love his mama bear, he won’t love you.
6) He’s married but they haven’t slept together in years
After small talk, he admits to being married. “Our marriage has been on the rocks for years. We sleep in separate bedrooms. I can’t even remember the last time we’ve had sex.” The words free flow out of his mouth, and you wonder if what he’s saying is really true. Trap: Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
7) He only talks about one subject – himself
A man begins a conversation by telling you that he has a boat, 2 homes, and a fancy sports car. He offers to take you on a vacation, since he has “time shares everywhere.” He pulls out pictures of his 3 daughters, and regales you with stories as to how talented they are. After 20 minutes, you realize he hasn’t asked you your name. Trap: A gorilla beating his chest doesn’t need a mate, he needs a mirror.
8) He’s waiting for his inheritance
You’re having a nice dialogue with a man. He’s single, good-looking and personable. You tell him that you’re in sales and inquire as to what he does for a living. He tells you that he works for his father. He proceeds to add, “I’m going to inherit a lot of money when he dies, and he’s pretty old.” Trap: Don’t date Uncle Scar from the Lion King.
9) His life is on Wikipedia
A confident guy approaches your table. He sits and easily chats with your group of friends. He tells you that he’s got a very cool job as an engineer with oilrigs and he used to be a professional baseball player. The girls are all impressed, and he asks for your number to meet up later for a drink. You exchange information and he leaves. Your friend decides to Google his name and the first article that appears is a photo of his wife and two kids. Trap: The coyote should cover his tracks
10) He slept with every single woman in the neighborhood
You’re flattered when a sexy man begins to hit on you. He tells you he’s attracted to your eyes and asks why he hasn’t seen you out at the bars before. After you play a little game of “Who you know geography,” you realize he’s the “Dave” that went out with one of your friends and cheated on her with another. Trap: A leopard doesn’t change his spots.
Remember there are no hunting rules and regulations that men have to follow. If you’re an innocent lamb, it’s up to you to be prepared and on the lookout for the men who walk around in sheep’s clothing.
For more tips on dating, sex & relationships, watch my talk-show: LoveEncore by KarenLeePoter.

Kids Watching Porn? What Is A Parent's Responsibility?

Does watching porn make your child more likely to engage in early sexual acts? Is it a parent's responsibility to limit the amount of pornography a child watches to protect him from problems like sex addiction in the future? According to The Huffington Post, a study suggests that  pornography may slightly influence how teens have sex. I suggest opening the lines of communication with your children early on about pornography and it's influences. A friend of mine told me she was very upset to learn that her kids ages 11 and 13 were watching porn on their computers. She didn't know what to do. Here's how the conversation went:

Linda: My older son, Jake and his friends have been watching porn on the internet. I don't know what to do about it?

Me: How'd you find out?

Linda: My younger son, Drew told me. To make matters worse, Drew announced that he was watching it as well.

Me: I think they all are exposed to it around this age.

Linda: I am horrified. I saw a scene on Jake's laptop where one girl was having anal sex with multiple men. This is giving my sons a warped view about sex. I'm afraid porn is teaching my kids that girls are to be used as sex objects.

Me: I'll ask my older son, Charlie who's in college for his opinion.

I was shocked to hear that my older son had also started watching porn in junior high school. Charlie said he didn't watch it often because he was too busy with activites and school. I believe communication is key, and felt Linda should talk to her kids about it. Linda decided to tell the kids her viewpoint. They talked about it, and she shared her concerns that they were getting a terrible view on what sex was all about. The younger boy stopped watching porn. The older one refused. He was hooked.

We all grew up with a certain amount of pornography. I looked through Playgirl Magazines,  and my friends found their Dad's VCR tapes. The main difference between the porn we grew up with and internet porn of today is the easy access, variety and amount available. A 13 year old boy watching gang banging and anal sex is receiving messages that are hard (no pun intended) to process at any age. To further compound the problem, this may ultimately not be stimulating enough, and he may seek kinkier, bizarre or more violent sex acts to watch in order to get turned on as he gets accustomed to watching internet porn.

I checked back with my friend Linda one year later. Her son Jake was now a freshman in high school. He was constantly talking about getting blow jobs and wanting other sexual acts from girls. She said that he was still watching a lot of porn. She didn't allow him to watch it on his computer, but since he paid his own cell phone bill, he was free to watch it on his phone. Here's how the next conversation went:

Linda: Jake did something disgusting the other day.

Me: What?

Linda: He was at a friend's house and his parents were out of town. There was a party and Jake got a girl to give him a blow job in the friend's bedroom. The friend was very angry at Jake.

Me: Was that his girl friend.

Linda: No, he barely knew her.

Is there a relationship between Jake's early desire for blowjobs from girls he doesn't know or care about and the variety of internet porn he's watching on a regular basis? An Australian study has shown that sexual arousal decreases over time with repeated displays of the same erotic film. If Jake is constantly watching porn and presumably masterbating, will he be satisfied with "normal sex" when the time is right? Will he need more stimulating sex acts like the porn he watched as a child?

What is the parent's responsibility in protecting a child from watching porn?

Why Is The Cougar Hunted By So Many Men?


Learn why the cougar is hunted by so many men. The younger man who has a sexual encounter with an older woman will remember it as some of the best sex of his life. The benefits will continue when the young man is ready for a relationship with a girl of his age. One result to having experienced sex with a cougar is the attraction may end up becoming his "type." Once you're with a cougar, you'll be hard pressed to find a better tutor.

Here are ten reasons younger men say older women are sexually superior to their younger counterparts:

1. It's a numbers game. Cougars' age alone means many more years of experience with multiple partners. Before marriage, they may have had a few partners. Post divorce, the notches on their bedposts may have gone up exponentially.

2. Older women have had lots of practice. Cougars have been in long term relationships and marriages, which have provided years of sexual experience with one partner. Those memories are implanted into the older woman's brain, and whether good or bad have shaped her sexual expertise.

3. Older women know what they want. Their self-awareness comes from years of experience and communicating with sexual partners. They've tried different positions, techniques, and fetishes. They've self-pleasured themselves for many years, and aren't afraid of communicating the stuff that really gets them purring. If the girl doesn't know what she wants, it's hard for the man to figure it out. Cougars know exactly what they want and which buttons the guy needs to press.

4. Cougars have learned what men want ... and are eager to find out the specific desires of their current boyfriend. They've been taught by a variety of partners which positions and techniques turn men on. They ask questions and figure out what makes their man roar like the king of a lion's den. What they don't know, they will research in books, movies or on the Internet.

5. The older woman enjoys sex as much as her younger male partner without hidden agendas. They don't have any delusions that they are going to hook this man into marriage and/or start a family. This takes the pressure off a man who just wants to have fun without obligations. This stress relief is a major reason sex is great with an older woman who's not as "needy or demanding."

6. Older women realize the importance of sex in a relationship. She may have been in a marriage where sex was withheld. She won't use sex as a bargaining chip or to try to get something materialistic from the younger man. Cougars know the psychological and physical benefits to regular sex. 

7. It's flattering to the younger man that a hot older woman finds him desirable. It's a challenge to be with an attractive, sexy older lady who is physically fit and keeps herself well groomed. She has the time to take care of herself since her children are older and less dependent.

8. Older women enjoy teaching their eager younger students. They know when to be dominant and submissive. The man senses this knowledge and power, which is very stimulating. The older woman will buy books, lingerie, sex toys, candles and wine to set the mood.

9. Older women have confidence in their bodies and sexual prowess. This is a huge turn on for men who may have been with young girls who are just learning the ropes. The younger girls may be self-conscious and uncomfortable talking dirty in bed. Older women are spontaneous and comfortable being naked.

More from YourTango: A 10-Step Guide To Flirting With A Man Of Any Age [EXPERT]

10. Older women aren't afraid of communicatingThe younger man will know exactly where he stands with her. She won't play mind games with her younger man by not answering her phone. She will approach a man in a bar and not wait for him to make the first move. She will indicate what she wants from the relationship. She will openly share her sexual needs and desires. She isn't worried about losing the man if she expresses herself.

The Rules of the Road to Orgasm

Ladies – take charge of your orgasm. Stop blaming your partner for not making it happen during sex. Imagine you have a high performance vehicle that you place in the hands of a novice driver (your lover) each time you have sex. He wants you to reach the big O, but needs some help operating your vehicle. You are responsible for guiding your man to becoming an expert performance driver. Follow these 5 steps toward the climatic finish line: 1)   Become the expert mechanic of your vehicle. Do some self-discovery – masturbate. If you don’t know what stimulates you, how can you expect your partner to figure it out?  Lubricate your whole vaginal area, wetter is better! Using your fingers, try different tempos and pressure levels for reaching an orgasm. Play with your nipples and see how that adds to your experience. Read a book with sexual content and fantasize about anything that gets you revved up. Try a vibrator on your clitoris and/or inside your vagina. There is no bad way to reach an orgasm!

2)   Your car needs to be warmed up with foreplay! Men are wired differently than women. They can turn their ignition switches on and within a few minutes be raring to go. As a woman, you’ll need to be mentally and physically in the mood before your engine starts humming. It is your responsibility, to gradually slip out of work or mommy mode and into the sex goddess groove. Start planning your evening by wearing sexy undergarments all day. Shift your mind into sex gear while cooking dinner by fantasizing about what he will be doing to you later. Start a dialogue with flirty comments hours before the actual act. Text him a sexy picture or call him from another room, and both your motors will begin to purr.

3)   The clitoris is the engine! Your man is not a mind reader so explain how to best operate your vehicle. Tell your partner that he needs to focus on your clitoris. There are men out there who don’t know its importance. Could a man ejaculate without his penis being touched? The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, which is 4 times the amount in the head of a penis. If your man jumps into the driver’s seat, puts the key into the ignition, and doesn’t put the car into gear, that car isn’t going anywhere. If you don’t emphasize the importance of this essential car part, you only have yourself to blame.

4)   Give him the complete owner’s manual to your unique car. This can be addressed before, during and/or after sex. You’re the mechanic (see #1) so share the tricks of the trade with the driver. If you want a back massage, suggest it. If you’d like him to lick your clitoris, tell him. If he’s applying too much pressure or going too fast, let him know. If sex toys or blindfolds increase your excitement, pull them out. Don’t be embarrassed to share fantasies or role-play. He won’t know what turns you on unless you instruct him. Reinforce his actions by moaning, and showing him the road signs when he’s on the right path. If he doesn’t stop and ask for directions, give him your personal GPS. If you fake an orgasm, he’ll continue driving poorly in the future.

5)   Enjoy the ride, but don’t lay back and slip into cruise control. Be an active participant. The average female takes 20 to 40 minutes to achieve an orgasm. If it takes too much time under the hood, your man may need jaw surgery. Your mind may drift outside the bedroom, and you’ll need to guide it back to a sexual place. Rid yourself of inhibitions, touch yourself, and use toys while he’s working his magic. When you’re giving him oral sex, there’s nothing wrong with guiding his fingers to your clitoris, breasts or anus. Don’t be a back seat driver, jump in the front.

Achieving an orgasm with your partner is not a one-person responsibility. He wants to get optimal performance from your vehicle, but needs a little driver’s education. You own a special edition Porche, and if you can’t drive it, how can your man? Whether he’s known you for years, or he’s an eager new driver, nothing will please him more than seeing your car roll to a roaring stop after an exhilarating road trip.

When It Comes To Sex, How Important Is A Happy Vagina? We all know that getting in the mood for sex is highly psychological. We realize you need to be turned on by your man before getting under the covers. We know the importance of feeling sexy and comfortable being naked with him. But here’s something that rarely gets mentioned: Is your vagina happy, healthy and ready for amazing sex?

Your vagina’s happiness plays a key role during lovemaking. It speaks to your brain about how it’s feeling and whether it wants to have sex. If your vagina is itchy, dry, discharging, or odorous, it will signal you to avoid your man’s fingers, nose, penis or tongue. Here are some tips for making your vagina healthy, happy, and yearning for your man’s touch.

Be your vagina detective. Using a mirror, check out your vagina by spreading the labia and observing what it looks like. Is there any discharge? Does it itch? Put a finger inside and get a sample of the mucous. What does it smell and taste like? Yes, you should taste your vaginal secretions. Does it taste acidic? What does the substance on your finger smell like? Does it smell like a fish? If you want your partner to give you oral pleasure, you should know your own flavor and scent. A neutral smelling and tasting vagina is a happy vagina.

Make sure your vagina is clean before having any type of sexual encounter. It can be part of your nightly routine along with brushing your teeth. You don’t need to use perfumes or douches, but you will feel more comfortable if you wash your vagina with a little mild soap and water prior to having sex. A clean vagina is a happy vagina.

The foods you ingest will change the taste and smell of your vaginal fluids. There are studies that say certain foods such as pineapples or cucumbers will make your vagina taste better. Green leafy vegetables help to neutralize an acidic taste that comes from dairy, alcohol, or meat. Eat some kale and spinach with your red wine at dinner to balance the flora in your vagina. A well-nourished vagina is a happy vagina.

So is your vagina happy and sending “all systems go” signals to your brain? Is it clean, free of odor, and neutral tasting? No matter how long you’ve known your partner, he deserves to have a pleasant experience when performing oral sex. Your relaxation and confidence when he’s tasting and smelling you is key to your reaching an orgasm. Knowing that your vagina is happy and healthy will definitely make you comfortable with your man and ready for amazing sex!